The 5 strangest people on the London Underground

If you've ever traveled on the London Underground, you know it's a strange and confusing place full of people with B.O, bad attitudes and the occasional stalker/weirdo with a tin foil hat and a giant spoon. 

The 5 weirdest tube riders, in order of terrifyingness.

Level 1 - quirky: The woman with the bizarre outfit

This was actually my most recent spot. She sat next to me on the edge of her seat in a gigantic pink fluffy hat that looked like the head of a flamboyant Dr Seuss costume. It was teamed with a clashing checked jacket, and when she bent down to get something from her bag, a neon yellow thong appeared from the dusty recesses of time long forgotten.

Level 2 - disturbing: The man with the suitcase full of T-shirts

We're stepping up a gear now. I sat opposite this guy about three years ago. The train carriage was empty except for us. He had one of those metal suitcases with the combination locks. I watched him open the suitcase and systematically remove individually wrapped T-shirts still in the plastic, one after the other. They were all plain black and the same size. 

Weird enough? Not yet. He then took off his top, opened a plastic wrapper and put the t-shirt on. He then took that shirt off and moved on to the next. I exited the train swiftly at the next stop.

Level 3 - a little scary: The guy with the garden chair in the dustbin bag

This was a long time ago, but I've never forgotten it (that's saying something, I have a terrible memory). He got on the train with a plastic garden chair in a dustbin bag, the carriage was half full. He set the garden chair next to the last seat in the carriage, in front of the sliding doors, sat in it, crossed his arms and rocked slowly back and forth, staring into space. Safe to say the entire carriage emptied at the next stop.

Level 4 - creepy: The guy that took pictures of us

I was sitting with Larry on the train coming back from our first date, and he turned to me and whispered 'that guy is taking photos of you.'

'No he's not!' I said, 'he can't be!'

Oh he was though. We could see it in the reflection of the glass. Resisted urge to pull ridiculous poses and vacated carriage. 

Level 5 - surreal: The guy in the magicians outfit with the tin foil hat

I think he was on his way to a fancy dress party. At least I hope so. He talked to himself in a low voice, and smelt like the aftermath of a moonshine mixing event.

The moral of the story is... don't travel by yourself on the tube without being prepared to run for it.