The incident of the fish and the soap bar

Ever wondered if a goldfish can survive in a tank full of soap? Through sheer fail and an embarrassing lack of science, 7 year old me discovered the answer. (Although this is a precautionary tale, the fish survive to live another day, no permanent damage was done)

When I was little, I didn't have many friends. This was probably because I was odd. Not odd in the adorable way, odd in the oh-look-it's-a-wall-let's-go-talk-to-it kind of way.

My mum organised a play date for me with the son and daughter of one of her close friends. On the same day, she had given me a gift - a bar of soap with a silver charm in the shape of a Cinderella slipper in it.

Nice charm, shiny charm...

Now, whoever thought of making charm soaps for children, clearly didn't think of the implications. I knew science enough to know that the soap would melt in water. And I REALLY wanted that little charm. What was the nearest source of water? My fish tank.

In my feeble defense, while I suspected that my goldfish (Goldie and Blackey) would not react to the soapy water like they were in a foam disco and start dancing, I didn't know that it would actually cause them harm. I wasn't a mean child, just a crazy one.

Why I should have paid attention in science class...

I dropped the soap into the tank, and the water started to fog up almost instantly. I stood there banging the soap against the side of the tank, making it melt faster.

'I'm not sure you're supposed to do that' < said by the more sensible and science-enabled child that was being forced to spend time with me.

I was so focused that I didn't notice the fish start to leap about crazily, luckily my mum entered the room at this point, to see my two play dates cowering in the corner and me looking gleeful, clutching a tiny silver charm as Blackey and Goldie leapt about and water went everywhere.

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?'
........

'I wanted the soap charm.'
'OMG those poor fish. STEPHEN! <my dad, RIP> STEPHEN! CHARLOTTE'S DONE SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD WITH THE FISH.'

10 minutes and some serious reprimanding later, the fish were happily swimming in a nice, clean tank and my little silver charm had been taken as punishment. I felt really mean when I knew what had happened to the fish, and the charm was crap anyway.

Too fail for goldfish...

Sadly for me, but happily for the fish and my local school, Blackey and Goldie were donated to Theydon Bois County Primary the next day. Every day I went to school, I had to watch them swimming around happily with the other fish and think about what I had done.

And the motto of the story is... never let me near soaps with charms in, or pets.